“You can’t always influence what others may say or do to you but you can influence how you react and respond to it.” (Unknown)
Most of us at some stage will claim to have experienced set-backs or knocks and blows that have spun us off our life’s path that we have felt was so clearly and unquestionably ours. Life can teach us some harsh lessons! However, why is it that some individuals become so shaken by the experience that they become mere shells of their former self while others thrive at the challenge and come back at life stronger and more determined? It seems that the latter individuals have a number of personality traits that protect them from the effects of stress; psychologists call this “the stress-hardy personality” (“Stress Hardiness” – www.stresscourse.tripod.com). The stress-hardy personality consists of commitment, control and challenge and not only aids individuals with stress management, this state of better mental health can inspire better physical health and can actually make you live longer.
The modern understanding of mental-toughness or hardiness comes from research conducted by Salvatore Maddi, a professor of psychology at UC I Irvine (“The Tough Track” – Jeff Wise “Psychology Today”). This study which commenced in 1975 for a 12-year period was to evaluate the psychological well-being of managers in the Illinois Bell Telephone Company. The study took an unexpected turn six years later when the government deregulated the telephone industry and half the employees were laid off (“The Tough Track” – Jeff Wise “Psychology Today”). For two-thirds of this group the transition was traumatic! Many were unable to cope with the stress; they died of heart attacks and strokes, engaged in violence, got divorced and suffered from poor mental health. However, the other third didn’t fall apart. Their lives actually improved; their health got better, their careers soared and their relationships blossomed. What made these people different? According to Maddi, it was the characteristic of “hardiness” (“The Tough Track” – Jeff Wise “Psychology Today”). Hardy people have the ability to treat each crisis as an opportunity; it “gives you the courage and motivation to do the hard work of growing and developing rather than denying and avoiding” (“The Tough Track” – Jeff Wise “Psychology Today”).
Stress-hardy people seem to possess 3 distinctive traits; commitment, control and challenge” (“Stress Hardiness” – www.stresscourse.tripod.com). Commitment means having a purpose to life. Our involvement in family, work, community, social, friends, religious faith, ourselves etc. gives us meaning to our lives and can inspire and motivate our efforts. When we commit to something it gives us a sense of importance and goodness- we become a part of a bigger picture. When we are passionate about aspects of our lives- whether it be what we have set out to do with our careers or family or special interests- despite upsets or challenges, we often hold up because we have in perspective why these things are important to us and this knowledge is deeper than anything that might throw us off course.
Studies have shown that how much control we perceive we have over any stressor will influence how difficult the stressor will be for us to cope with (“Stress Hardiness” – www.stresscourse.tripod.com). There are two types of control; Internal and external. Internal locus of control people are aware that they cannot influence all the external events that go on in their lives but they do have a deep sense that they have a choice in how they react to what goes on around them. They believe that, although they cannot totally influence the situation, they do have some influence how they react to the event. External locus of control people believe that what happens is due to fate or destiny and that they will not be able to influence it. These people miss out on career advancement or a potential romantic relationship because it ‘wasn’t meant to be!’ This can alleviate stress as it inspires the belief that there are greater forces at work here and when the timing is right and the universe is aligned, all will be well again and opportunities will arise.
Challenge is about how we perceive the events that occur in our lives; seeing our difficulties as a challenge rather than as a threat and accepting that the only thing in our life that is constant is change (“Stress Hardiness” – www.stresscourse.tripod.com). Stress-hardy people see change as an opportunity to learn and grow rather than a threat that triggers a fight or flight response. That one third of Illinois Bell Telephone Company who got laid off didn’t dwell on their misfortune; they saw it as an opportunity to try bigger and brighter things and as a result, their new careers soared! Sometimes drastic change reminds us of what is really important to us and sets us on our passion path; the dream rather than the job and the comfort of ‘security’.
Good psychological health and good stress copers can affect our physical health and our longevity at life. Jeanne Calment of southern France is said to be the oldest person living (120 years old!). Longevity expert Jean-Marc Robine says that “she has an extraordinary resistance to sickness, stress and depression” (“Psychological Hardiness is a Buffer Against Aging” – Vijai P. Sharma Ph.D). For those like Jeanne who are on top of the “age pyramid, he or she stands alone at the peak” (“Psychological Hardiness is a Buffer Against Aging” – Vijai P. Sharma Ph.D). By Jeanne’s age she has coped with loss; spouses, friends and relatives and has witnessed younger generations- nieces and nephews, grandchildren and even great grandchildren fade away right in front of their eyes. It takes mental toughness and high self-sufficiency to adapt to the loss and focus on the positive impacts of family, relationships and surroundings. George Vailliant conducted one of the longest follow-up studies in human development. He followed 185 young men of Harvard University for almost 40 years. Valliant was very surprised to find that “people who had been healthy and robust in their youth could die suddenly and prematurely because of their tendency to react poorly to stress” (“Psychological Hardiness is a Buffer Against Aging” – Vijai P. Sharma Ph.D). In the group of 185 people, 48 were identified as poor stress copers; out of these 48 people, 18 died by the age of 53. Vaillant concluded that good mental health slowed down the aging process while poor mental health hastened it.
There are 4 keys to developing mental hardiness; enlist love ones, seek out challenges, get physical, reward yourself. Loved ones are “crucial to the cultivation of both inner strength and physical endurance (“The Tough Track” – Jeff Wise “Psychology Today”). According to West Point psychologist Michael Matthews, “many Medal of Honour winners were just normal soldiers who were put in a situation where their love of their buddies overcame any concern about their own well-being” (“The Tough Track” – Jeff Wise “Psychology Today”). Nothing strengthens bonds between people more than a shared struggle; the people in our lives- our cheerleaders and enablers- give us strength.
‘When the going gets tough, the tough get going!’ Most people actively avoid problems and hard, needless work. The truly tough light up at unexpected obstacles such as conflicts and dilemmas and see them as exciting moments for them to conquer. The key to mastering this hungry mind is to develop self-confidence in your abilities and breakdown the major problem at hand into small achievable goals. “Start telling yourself that the smooth, comfortable life is not something to strive for, but rather a recipe for boredom and stagnation” (“The Tough Track” – Jeff Wise “Psychology Today”).
Exercise is the building block to overall hardiness (“The Tough Track” – Jeff Wise “Psychology Today”). Lilly Mujica-Parodi, director of the Laboratory for the Study of Emotion and Cognition at Stony Brook University, tested the heart rates and hormone levels of novice skydivers before, during and after their first plunge. She found that skydivers with a higher percentage of body fat took longer to return from elevated stress-hormone levels and performed worse on tests of mental ability. According to Mujica-Parodi, “not only does physical fitness produce stress resilience but fit individuals are better able to preserve their cognitive functions” (“The Tough Track” – Jeff Wise “Psychology Today”).
Completing any worthwhile goal requires the desired pat on the back- whether it is the glory of the end result, the acknowledgment or the intrinsic sense of achievement. Facing a challenge is not always fun; but if it was fun we always sought we would always choose the road more comfortable where we gave into our sweet tooth and lounged in the sun all day! Taking on challenges inspires us to want more and to be more- we all seek rewards greater than basic gratification; we may face a gruelling workout to be fitter or leaner, we may complete a marathon because it was beyond what we thought we were capable of or we may work at our art (whatever it may be!) until we ache, bleed or collapse because we see that at the other side of it there will be results and praise and acknowledgment. Our reward brings us into a higher state of being and we feel we have evolved by the challenge at hand.
Most of us have faced set-backs or misfortunes at certain stages of our lives and, despite the devistating impact we feel, often hardiness comes from the pure realisation that life goes on! Real life doesn't offer the convenience of a full stop or rolling credits to signify an ending; things keep going and the experience influences the events that follow. We may not be able to control or erase the event itself but we can control how we respond to the event and what we choose to do after. This is not easy! It is really hard! But sometimes it is set-backs and not success that test our commitment and ignite our passion, sometimes loss makes us appreciate more what we have and sometimes a loss of pride helps us learn and grow. There is always more if you don't get stuck at the road blocks.
Most of us at some stage will claim to have experienced set-backs or knocks and blows that have spun us off our life’s path that we have felt was so clearly and unquestionably ours. Life can teach us some harsh lessons! However, why is it that some individuals become so shaken by the experience that they become mere shells of their former self while others thrive at the challenge and come back at life stronger and more determined? It seems that the latter individuals have a number of personality traits that protect them from the effects of stress; psychologists call this “the stress-hardy personality” (“Stress Hardiness” – www.stresscourse.tripod.com). The stress-hardy personality consists of commitment, control and challenge and not only aids individuals with stress management, this state of better mental health can inspire better physical health and can actually make you live longer.
The modern understanding of mental-toughness or hardiness comes from research conducted by Salvatore Maddi, a professor of psychology at UC I Irvine (“The Tough Track” – Jeff Wise “Psychology Today”). This study which commenced in 1975 for a 12-year period was to evaluate the psychological well-being of managers in the Illinois Bell Telephone Company. The study took an unexpected turn six years later when the government deregulated the telephone industry and half the employees were laid off (“The Tough Track” – Jeff Wise “Psychology Today”). For two-thirds of this group the transition was traumatic! Many were unable to cope with the stress; they died of heart attacks and strokes, engaged in violence, got divorced and suffered from poor mental health. However, the other third didn’t fall apart. Their lives actually improved; their health got better, their careers soared and their relationships blossomed. What made these people different? According to Maddi, it was the characteristic of “hardiness” (“The Tough Track” – Jeff Wise “Psychology Today”). Hardy people have the ability to treat each crisis as an opportunity; it “gives you the courage and motivation to do the hard work of growing and developing rather than denying and avoiding” (“The Tough Track” – Jeff Wise “Psychology Today”).
Stress-hardy people seem to possess 3 distinctive traits; commitment, control and challenge” (“Stress Hardiness” – www.stresscourse.tripod.com). Commitment means having a purpose to life. Our involvement in family, work, community, social, friends, religious faith, ourselves etc. gives us meaning to our lives and can inspire and motivate our efforts. When we commit to something it gives us a sense of importance and goodness- we become a part of a bigger picture. When we are passionate about aspects of our lives- whether it be what we have set out to do with our careers or family or special interests- despite upsets or challenges, we often hold up because we have in perspective why these things are important to us and this knowledge is deeper than anything that might throw us off course.
Studies have shown that how much control we perceive we have over any stressor will influence how difficult the stressor will be for us to cope with (“Stress Hardiness” – www.stresscourse.tripod.com). There are two types of control; Internal and external. Internal locus of control people are aware that they cannot influence all the external events that go on in their lives but they do have a deep sense that they have a choice in how they react to what goes on around them. They believe that, although they cannot totally influence the situation, they do have some influence how they react to the event. External locus of control people believe that what happens is due to fate or destiny and that they will not be able to influence it. These people miss out on career advancement or a potential romantic relationship because it ‘wasn’t meant to be!’ This can alleviate stress as it inspires the belief that there are greater forces at work here and when the timing is right and the universe is aligned, all will be well again and opportunities will arise.
Challenge is about how we perceive the events that occur in our lives; seeing our difficulties as a challenge rather than as a threat and accepting that the only thing in our life that is constant is change (“Stress Hardiness” – www.stresscourse.tripod.com). Stress-hardy people see change as an opportunity to learn and grow rather than a threat that triggers a fight or flight response. That one third of Illinois Bell Telephone Company who got laid off didn’t dwell on their misfortune; they saw it as an opportunity to try bigger and brighter things and as a result, their new careers soared! Sometimes drastic change reminds us of what is really important to us and sets us on our passion path; the dream rather than the job and the comfort of ‘security’.
Good psychological health and good stress copers can affect our physical health and our longevity at life. Jeanne Calment of southern France is said to be the oldest person living (120 years old!). Longevity expert Jean-Marc Robine says that “she has an extraordinary resistance to sickness, stress and depression” (“Psychological Hardiness is a Buffer Against Aging” – Vijai P. Sharma Ph.D). For those like Jeanne who are on top of the “age pyramid, he or she stands alone at the peak” (“Psychological Hardiness is a Buffer Against Aging” – Vijai P. Sharma Ph.D). By Jeanne’s age she has coped with loss; spouses, friends and relatives and has witnessed younger generations- nieces and nephews, grandchildren and even great grandchildren fade away right in front of their eyes. It takes mental toughness and high self-sufficiency to adapt to the loss and focus on the positive impacts of family, relationships and surroundings. George Vailliant conducted one of the longest follow-up studies in human development. He followed 185 young men of Harvard University for almost 40 years. Valliant was very surprised to find that “people who had been healthy and robust in their youth could die suddenly and prematurely because of their tendency to react poorly to stress” (“Psychological Hardiness is a Buffer Against Aging” – Vijai P. Sharma Ph.D). In the group of 185 people, 48 were identified as poor stress copers; out of these 48 people, 18 died by the age of 53. Vaillant concluded that good mental health slowed down the aging process while poor mental health hastened it.
There are 4 keys to developing mental hardiness; enlist love ones, seek out challenges, get physical, reward yourself. Loved ones are “crucial to the cultivation of both inner strength and physical endurance (“The Tough Track” – Jeff Wise “Psychology Today”). According to West Point psychologist Michael Matthews, “many Medal of Honour winners were just normal soldiers who were put in a situation where their love of their buddies overcame any concern about their own well-being” (“The Tough Track” – Jeff Wise “Psychology Today”). Nothing strengthens bonds between people more than a shared struggle; the people in our lives- our cheerleaders and enablers- give us strength.
‘When the going gets tough, the tough get going!’ Most people actively avoid problems and hard, needless work. The truly tough light up at unexpected obstacles such as conflicts and dilemmas and see them as exciting moments for them to conquer. The key to mastering this hungry mind is to develop self-confidence in your abilities and breakdown the major problem at hand into small achievable goals. “Start telling yourself that the smooth, comfortable life is not something to strive for, but rather a recipe for boredom and stagnation” (“The Tough Track” – Jeff Wise “Psychology Today”).
Exercise is the building block to overall hardiness (“The Tough Track” – Jeff Wise “Psychology Today”). Lilly Mujica-Parodi, director of the Laboratory for the Study of Emotion and Cognition at Stony Brook University, tested the heart rates and hormone levels of novice skydivers before, during and after their first plunge. She found that skydivers with a higher percentage of body fat took longer to return from elevated stress-hormone levels and performed worse on tests of mental ability. According to Mujica-Parodi, “not only does physical fitness produce stress resilience but fit individuals are better able to preserve their cognitive functions” (“The Tough Track” – Jeff Wise “Psychology Today”).
Completing any worthwhile goal requires the desired pat on the back- whether it is the glory of the end result, the acknowledgment or the intrinsic sense of achievement. Facing a challenge is not always fun; but if it was fun we always sought we would always choose the road more comfortable where we gave into our sweet tooth and lounged in the sun all day! Taking on challenges inspires us to want more and to be more- we all seek rewards greater than basic gratification; we may face a gruelling workout to be fitter or leaner, we may complete a marathon because it was beyond what we thought we were capable of or we may work at our art (whatever it may be!) until we ache, bleed or collapse because we see that at the other side of it there will be results and praise and acknowledgment. Our reward brings us into a higher state of being and we feel we have evolved by the challenge at hand.
Most of us have faced set-backs or misfortunes at certain stages of our lives and, despite the devistating impact we feel, often hardiness comes from the pure realisation that life goes on! Real life doesn't offer the convenience of a full stop or rolling credits to signify an ending; things keep going and the experience influences the events that follow. We may not be able to control or erase the event itself but we can control how we respond to the event and what we choose to do after. This is not easy! It is really hard! But sometimes it is set-backs and not success that test our commitment and ignite our passion, sometimes loss makes us appreciate more what we have and sometimes a loss of pride helps us learn and grow. There is always more if you don't get stuck at the road blocks.
