“Throughout our lives we long to love ourselves more deeply and to feel connected with others. Instead, we often contract, fear intimacy, and suffer a bewildering sense of separation. We crave love, and yet we are lonely. Our delusion of being separate from one another, of being apart from all that is around us, gives rise to all of this pain.” -Sharon Salzberg.
You see it in movies and you hear it in songs. Rejection is hard and people like to feel
like they belong to something. When we
build relationships with anyone, whether it is a colleague, a lover or someone
you entrust an errand to, you try to find a common language, an emotional
interest and a bond that is going to strengthen the connection and lead to a
happy result. Being a part of something
gives us value and inspires us to commit.
That is why a fitness class can build a fitness community.
A study conducted by Eric D. Wesselmann of Purdue University
et.al. wanted to know just how small a cue could help someone feel connected (“Being Ignored Hurts, Even By a Stranger” –
Medicalxpress.com). In this study, a
research assistant walked along a well-populated path, passed a subject and
either met that person’s eyes, met that person’s eyes and smiled or looked in
the direction of the person’s eyes but passed them “looking at them as if they
were air” (Eric D. Wesselmann – Purdue University). These subjects were immediately interviewed
to see how they felt. The study showed
that people who had received eye contact from the research assistant, with or
without a smile, felt less disconnected than those who had been ignored (“The
Need to Feel Connected” – Neil Wagner – The Atlantic).
When people say that they are unhappy or that they don’t
like something it is usually because they don’t feel a part of it, or they do
not understand it. As a Group Fitness
Manager I have found that negative attitudes towards classes come from
feelings of isolation; people feel self-conscious, they sense that the regular
group know how a class runs, moves and feels and they don’t feel a part of it,
or they are singled out because an instructor or a member has noticed they aren’t
moving like the rest of the group and the attention makes them feel
isolated. If Group Fitness is inclusive,
there is an opportunity to build a fitness community. Often when someone is new to something they
make mistakes and ask a lot of questions.
Successful communities are built on the philosophy that there are no
stupid questions. Often if we play it
nice, we inspire a feeling of comfort.
Saying “you’re in my spot!!!!” or “you’re going the wrong way!!!!” isn’t
so welcoming…. and if we don't welcome new members how will the community grow?!
To build a community takes sensitivity and observation. A community can’t be built on exclusion or
pin-pointing individuals so that they feel singled out and isolated, yet a common interest must be found! That is why well-structured classes are the
key to building a fitness community. I
look at non-technical dance classes like Sh’bam and realise that by taking the
casual approach to how the moves are performed and concentrating on the social
aspect of class, people forget the self-conscious feeling of being
uncoordinated and just keep moving! I
realise that the reason people prefer to do Pump rather than go into the gym
and resistance train is that they can nod approval at their friend and just
keep working through a song, and the fatigue they feel is somehow secondary to
the experience. A good instructor
obviously taps into this, and can sift through the positive and negative of mass
group training to create this sense of community.
As a Group Fitness leader (for more years than I care to
mention!), I have seen a lot of things; I have seen body transformations,
coordination improvements, fitness increases and strength improvements. There has been no greater change as the sense
of community built in classes. People build relationships, find friends… some
even find partners! I strongly believe
that we all want to strive for improvement by seeking value from those near and
dear to us. If those we train alongside
make us fitter and stronger, is this not a relationship worth
cultivating??? Does this sense of
belonging not want us to experience it on a regular basis??? Do we not feel like we are a part of something
worthwhile??? This is the very
thing to make us fitter, better people. Not only that, we continue to train and stay fit because the training environment makes us happy and we want to be a part of it.
